Jar of Hearts
by Anybody Can Do Anything
Summary: What do you do, when the price of saving the man you love is to let another man love you? Dr Kate Franklin is about to learn how far she must go into a past she swore never to return to in order to protect one Daryl Dixon.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Jar of Hearts**

 **Summary: Falling in love doesn't always turn a bad man into a virtuous hero, but does that mean his love is any less real? Negan/OC evolving into a Daryl/OC**

 **Rating: M for Mature**

 **Disclaimer: I only own the OCs. I don't even own the damn title.**

 **Chapter One**

She owed her life to undercooked chicken.

Later, when she had time to think on this, she wasn't sure if she was grateful for this or not. On the one hand, she was alive.

On the other, it was up for debate that this was the preferable option.

Kate Franklin didn't believe in fate, so she knew that the questionable street vendor quesadilla was the only reason she had lived through the early days of the apocalypse. Instead of being at the hospital the day the military had stormed it, shooting the remaining patients and staff, she had been alternating between lying in bed wishing she was dead and getting really friendly with the bowl of her toilet.

As soon as she realised she was sick, she had placed what she knew had to be the weirdest online food shopping order of her life (mainly water and glucose tablets). The guy that delivered it had been the last person she saw. On day four of her food poisoning hell, she had felt human enough to grope on the nightstand for the remote control and turn on the radio. She half listened between anti-emetic induced bouts of drowsiness and it only struck her as vaguely bizarre that when she finally awoke around fifteen hours later that the radio was giving out nothing but static.

Gingerly, she hauled herself out of bed and padded to the bathroom, actively keeping the toilet out of her line of sight. Standing under the shower for the first time in days, her mind drifted back to the dreams that had plagued the better part of her night. Urgent voices telling her to stay inside, stay out of sight. Sounds of gunfire and screaming, a helicopter flying low and the screech of tyres.

The shower had gone cold halfway through. Shivering, Kate towelled herself off and wandered through the apartment. There was a sense of something missing, but she wasn't sure what. Pausing at her answer machine, she frowned. Fifteen new messages? She pressed play and continued into the kitchen, wondering what her still fragile stomach could put up with eating.

Beep " _Hey slacker_ ," Jo's voice filled her apartment " _I heard you got a bad quesadilla from Salmonella Sally outside the hospital. What did I tell you about those street vendors? Feel better kid. Let me know if you want me to come over._ "Beep

Beep " _Hello, this is a message for Dr Kate Franklin- this is Jim calling from Amazonfresh, I just wanted to make sure that your order is correct?_ " Beep

Beep " _Hey gorgeous, it's me_ ," Kate smiled as Aaron's lazy drawl reached her ears " _I talked to Jo – what were you thinking? I think I know you well enough to know you don't want anyone to see you ralphing, but if you need anything you know where to find me._ " Beep

Beep " _Dr Franklin, this is Dr Helen Chase. I understand you are currently unwell, but I'm calling to confirm that you definitely won't be able to make it into work anytime soon. I'm afraid we've had a surge in the ER and as usual, are pretty short-staffed. Would love to hear from you ASAP. Thanks_."Beep

Beep " _Katie, it's your mom. I haven't heard from you in a couple of days – are you OK? Call me when you get this_."Beep

Kate sat at the breakfast bar, gingerly nibbling on a slice of toast and half listening to her voicemails. At the twelfth message she froze, fully alert. Her toast lay forgotten on the plate and she had sat like a statue, a chill descending on her already cold shoulders.

Beep " _Kate, are you there? There is some weird fuckin' shit going on out here. Have you been watching the news? There are people literally coming back from the dead. A guy I know who works down in the morgue got bitten by one of them. There are more of them on the streets every twenty-four hours. Listen, if you aren't somewhere safe you need to lock your doors, turn out all the lights and wait for me to come get you. We have to get out of the city - the army's going to evacuate the hospital tonight and we have to be there._ "Beep

Aaron had sounded terrified, breathless, like he was hurrying down the corridor at the hospital. Kate slid from her stool and went back to stand in front of the answer machine.

Beep " _Kate, I don't know how much of the news you've seen, but things are getting pretty bad out here. Please don't leave your apartment until Aaron can get to you. Sam and I are going to gather supplies today while he helps to get the patients airlifted out and then he'll come to your apartment and we'll go to the hospital together. You need to pack light OK? Bare essentials only._ "Beep

Beep " _Katie_ ," Jo's voice was thick and cracked. She was crying " _Katie, Aaron's dead." Kate felt her legs give way and she crumpled heavily to the floor "The military stormed the hospital and shot everyone who was left. There's no evac. We have to get out of here. The city isn't safe anymore. Sam and I are coming to get you so be ready for us. There's a group of families from our neighbourhood that are going to travel together and Sam's brother has a truck. He'll bring us to you. The military are setting up road blocks all over the place and shooting most people on sight so it may take us a little while but we are coming for you_."Beep

Kate sat on the ground, dazed. Her mouth was dry, her tongue and teeth coated and chalky. She felt the grain of the carpet digging into the bare skin on her legs.

This had to be a joke. That was it – Aaron and Jo were playing a trick on her, teasing her for being so stupid and eating from the street cart that was the number one cause of visits to their own ER. They were probably at her house now along with Sam, giggling over their genius. That had to be it. It couldn't possibly be real, and yet... Kate was reminded of the disjointed dreams that had disturbed her sleep the night before. She was also suddenly keenly aware of what was missing from her surroundings, what had been bothering her since she had awoken. No traffic noise. Kate dragged herself to her feet and staggered to the living room window which faced out onto the street. What she saw caused bile to rise once more in her throat.

It looked like a war zone. Burnt out cars and bodies littered the street. Half a mile to the east, she could see the hospital – or more accurately what was left of it. The once pristine white building was now dotted with flame bitten windows. A plume of black smoke belched from the roof. Kate reached a palm and placed it on the chilly glass, hardly daring to believe what she was seeing. Looking to the west she could see the end of the street piled high with sandbags. A tank sat in front of it, seemingly unattended, its gun poised toward a target long since obliterated.

A sudden sound back to the east made Kate start and crane her neck around to see its source, flattening herself against the window, her face crushed against the pane.

A woman was running down the street, her hair in disarray and the knees of her thin cotton pyjamas bloodied. Tailing her was a shambling staggering wreck of a man missing an arm and soaked in blood. His remaining arm reached out toward her, grasping the air in her wake. Kate watched aghast as the woman ran as fast as her legs could carry her, always only just a few steps out of reach. As she ran, she cast a glance backward at her pursuer. This was to be her undoing. Kate gasped as the woman tripped over the legs of a prone body and went sprawling across the floor. She scrambled backwards on her backside; she was close enough now that Kate could see the look of abject terror on her face as the man closed the distance between them, kneeling down and hungrily sinking his teeth into her neck. Kate whirled away and ducked underneath the window where she couldn't be seen, her heart pounding like a jackhammer and tears in her eyes.

What the hell was going on? How had this happened? Tears streaming down her face Kate trembled as she crawled across the floor back to the phone and grabbing it from the cradle, fingers shaking as she dialled 911. She gagged as the polite automated voice told her that the phone line was currently unavailable and to report to her nearest evacuation site.

The TV. There had to be some information somewhere. Kate scrambled toward the TV and turned it on. She flicked through the channels, all of which showed similar versions of the same message: 'A state of national emergency has been declared. Please remain calm and make your way to your nearest evacuation site.'

X

Kate wasn't sure how long she had lain on the floor in front of the TV, bathed in its eerie blue glow, but when she heard the low rumbling sound of a vehicle in the street and looked back toward the window, night had fallen. The sounds got nearer and nearer until Kate guessed that whatever it was was in the street directly below her apartment. Slowly, she crawled back toward the window and braved a peek outside.

There was a truck parked in the street below, the engine still running. The streetlights had been cut off so the only light came from the truck's headlights, which were bright but seemingly smeared with a mixture of mud and something viscous. Kate's heart leapt into her throat when she realised it was gore.

The woman from earlier – or at least, what was left of her – lay in the middle of the street with her attacker still feeding on her. Since Kate had last looked, another man, naked from the waist up and covered in scratches, had joined him. Kate stared, so transfixed in her horror that she only noticed the tall dark figure of a man emerge from the truck and stride towards the feeding frenzy in the middle of the street when he raised a long thin object and brought it crashing down on the head of the shirtless man with a sickening crunch. Before Kate knew what was happening, a scream of horror escaped her lips. The figure whirled around, looking towards the source of the noise. Kate clapped a hand over her mouth and sank back beneath the window once more.

She sat frozen in fear for a few moments, not daring to breathe. Had he seen her? Would he be able to figure out which apartment was hers? Her apartment was shrouded in darkness, save for the blue glow of the emergency message on her television screen. At least twenty minutes had to have passed before she moved a muscle. The truck's engine had been switched off but she hadn't heard it drive away. Slowly, tentatively she crawled back up to look out into the street. The men that had been feeding off of the fallen woman now lay in a crumpled pile on top of her, their heads oozing black blood all over the street. The figure who had murdered them had disappeared. Kate scanned the rest of the street as well as her eyes could manage in the dim light, but could see nothing. Her grip on the window ledge had only just loosened when a loud knock at her door, a punch of sound into the previous silence, made her jump and catch her breath.

For a moment, she did nothing but stare at the door wondering she had hallucinated the noise. When it happened again, louder and more insistent this time, she let out a squeak and felt her stomach turn in fear.

"Doctor Franklin, is that you?" A man's voice, deep and purposefully clear, came from behind the door "I've come to collect a Doctor Kate Franklin. Jo and Sam sent me. Please open the door."

Kate crept towards the door, her hear in her throat. When the knock came for a third time, she heard herself croak "Y-you know Jo?"

"I'm Sam's brother. They've gone to the hospital to find supplies and whatever might be left. They knew you were alone. Please can you open the door? It's not too safe on this side of it."

Kate pressed herself against the door and whispered "You murdered those two men."

"Murdered? Honey... they were already dead. Have you seen the news? Please open the door. I know it's scary right now, but we're real short on time and I'm not here to hurt you."

Kate's fingers fumbled numbly with the locks. Pulling back the door hesitantly, she came face to face with a man in his early forties, tall and lean with a handsome, rugged face. He did look a little like Sam and that comforted her. Over his shoulder was slung a baseball bat covered in blood and that did not comfort her. He was dressed in dark jeans and a zipped up hooded sweatshirt. He looked tired but alert.

"Can I come in?" He asked again, gently pushing against the door with the bat. Kate shrank back as entered her apartment, his eyes never leaving hers. He looked at her in a way that made her feel exposed and uncomfortable. She glanced down at herself, suddenly remembering her decision to only wear shorts and a vest straight out of the shower (which felt like a million years ago) and looked back up at him.

"I... had food poisoning."

"You look like someone who had food poisoning." He gestured to the door "You'd better close that."

Kate quickly complied "What did you say your name was?" She could see an ID lanyard hanging from his belt with his photograph on and his last name – Egan, the same as Sam's.

"I didn't." He turned to smile at her "I'm Nick."

Kate could see the ID card in full now – she was in the company of one Mr N. Egan.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Kate watched as Nick Egan moved around her apartment, picking up random items and setting them down, the baseball bat slung casually over his shoulder. He stopped briefly at the piano to leaf through her sheet music and she found herself wondering if he played too. It didn't escape her notice that he had immediately closed the curtains, leaving them only the glow of the TV to see each other by.

He was lean and tall, taller than Sam – scruffier, too. Kate didn't think she had ever seen Sam unshaven or without a tie and yet before her stood a man from the same gene pool with a three day beard and dirty boots. He was handsome in a rough sort of way. Kate was reminded of Aaron and felt her throat catch. They had only been seeing one another for a month or so but their connection had been strong.

And now he was dead. Seemingly along with most of the people she had worked with. A tight knot of panic swelled in her chest and she fought the urge to gasp for breath. Finding her voice, she croaked "What's happening out there?"

Nick paused in his wandering and looked up at her still hovering by the door, a look of genuine surprise in his eyes, as though he had forgotten she was there altogether "You mean you really don't know?"

Kate shook her head, her eyes filling with tears. Her thin pyjama bottoms and vest failed to guard her against the cool air in the apartment and she felt gooseflesh begin to creep its way up from her toes to her scalp "I've been mostly unconscious for the last four days. I woke up to fifteen answer-phone messages and people eating each other in the street outside."

Nick ran a rough hand over his beard and sighed "Well, shit."

"My thoughts exactly."

They stood in silence for a moment. Nick looked like he was trying to comprehend her lack of understanding, and Kate was still trying to work out whether this was all an elaborate ruse. Or better yet, a dream.

"OK," Nick finally spoke "I've gotta be honest. When Jo and Sam asked me to come get you, I was pretty sure I was goin' on a wild goose chase which at the very best meant I was gonna find an empty apartment and the worst meant I was gonna find a dead lady doctor. Right now, I'm standin' here trying to figure out how to tell you that it's the end of the world, which was not somethin' I expected to be doin'."

Kate reached out to grab onto the nearest thing which was the back of the couch. She leaned heavily on it and let out a slow shaky breath "… the end of the world?"

X

Kate sat in the passenger seat of Nick's truck in a daze, clutching a tattered rucksack to her chest. In the back was her holdall containing other essentials and next to it was as much of the water she had ordered in to combat her food poisoning as they had been able to carry to the truck. The conversation they had had as Nick had ushered her towards the bedroom to pack kept replaying in her head over and over again. Those men she had seen in the street before - they were dead but not dead. They had been bitten or scratched or something and it had made them so sick that they died and then… came back. They wanted to eat living people, Nick had explained. While she packed, he had gone through her kitchen and as well as grabbing any non-perishables, had found the sharpest knife she had. Pressing it into her hands, he had told her that the only way to kill them was by destroying the brain.

They had been closing the door of her apartment when Kate had suddenly come to her senses "My mother!" she had gasped. Nick had turned back, his arms laden with supplies, a questioning look in his eyes.

"My mother- in Nevada! I need to make sure she's OK!" Kate had started back into her apartment toward the phone but Nick stopped her, placing a hand on her arm.

"Phone lines have been down for nearly twenty-four hours. Cell networks nearly as long as that."

Kate remembered the robotic emergency message she had heard on the line earlier and once again felt tears sting the back of her eyes "So... it wasn't just here?"

"Until the television stations stopped broadcasting, the CDC were putting out bulletins every hour. Initially they thought it was just the States so everybody freaked out and started headin' for Mexico and Canada, but by the time they got there the borders had already been shut." Somewhere far off in the distance, a smattering of gunfire. Nick paused, listening for more before gently jerking his head to Kate in the direction of the stairwell "In the end, it didn't matter who got in or out. Yesterday morning before the Internet went out, there were outbreaks in China, Russia and Spain. Last I heard Nevada hadn't been hit, but it only seemed like a matter of time. I'm sorry."

Kate followed Nick dumbly down the stairs and along the ground floor. Passing one apartment that she knew belonged to an old man whose name on the postbox outside his door read "R. Finnigan", she halted when she heard scratching noises on the other side of the door.

"Nick?" She whispered. He stopped and turned back to look at her "I think there's someone in there... shouldn't we help them?"

Nick shook his head "Kate..."

"We can't just go and leave him to get eaten!"

Nick stared at her for a moment before trudging back along the hallway to her. He set the boxes he was carrying down and gently took her by the shoulders, moving her well back from the door "Do not move from this spot." His eyes were deadly serious, his huge hands heavy on her shoulders "I mean it, Kate."

Kate watched as he cocked and ear to the door, listening for the scratching again. The baseball bat hung limply at his side, smears of gunk still staining it lightly. Kate was dimly aware that at some point between killing the two men on the street and finding her apartment, he must have wiped it off.

Nick was still for what seemed like an age before the scratching began again. Sighing, he drew back his free arm and swung it with the kind of force she imagined a doorman or a riot officer might use. The door splintered open to reveal an elderly man on the floor just inside the apartment, a withered hand reaching out, clawing towards the doorway. Black blood dripped down his chin and his skin was sallow. He opened his mouth but only a strangled hiss came out.

Instinct took over and Kate surged forward, her arms already reaching for the man to help him. She didn't see Nick's arm come up to block her path until she slammed into it.

"You are not gettin' this are you lady?" He barked, and she was taken aback by the sudden aggression of his tone "I told you to stay back!" with one arm, he swept her aside and strode ahead of her into the apartment. Kate could only watch as he raised the bat above his head like he had in the street and brought it down on the old man's head with a sickening crunch. Nick beat him until he no longer moved and then stood over him, head bowed, blood dripping from the end of the bat, pooling on the floor at his feet. Not for the first time, it struck Kate that he had acted without hesitation, without pause. Nick must have sensed her horror, because when he spoke, his voice was gentle.

"He was past saving, Kate. He was one of them."

And so now here she sat in a strange man's truck, shivering despite the warmth of the September air, some part of her still hoping all of this was just some salmonella induced delirium.

"You losin' your shit yet?" Nick's eyes never left the road as he drove, carefully navigating the torn up streets as they moved as quickly as they dared to the rendezvous point he had agreed with Sam and Jo. It was the first time he'd spoken since he her apartment building.

"I... don't know what to think."

"Try a few curse words. S'what gets me through the day." Kate glanced over at Nick to see that despite his attempt at humour his jaw was clenched, his mouth set in a thin line. Kate bit her lip.

"How did this happen? Was it a terrorist attack?"

"Hell if I know. It started slowly enough – one or two weird stories from out in the rural parts of the country. But the next day day it became front page news and it just seemed like as quick as the CDC and the government were getting to the bottom of it, the ground kept giving way beneath them. About seventy-two hours ago, the government issued an emergency broadcast saying to go to the nearest evacuation site – that warning on your TV was the last piece of news anybody got.. Pretty much everybody picked up and left the city."

"How come you're still here?" At this question, Kate thought she saw a muscle in Nick's jaw twitch.

"I seem like the kind person to run away screaming to you?" She could tell he was trying to be funny, but his smile was tight.

"It's not that. I just don't understand why you wouldn't evacuate with everyone else."

"I got a message from Sam saying he and Jo were going to try to get to you and get out and that I should go with them but I was… Delayed. By the time I realised it was a mass exodus, I figured they'd already split. All the roads were blocked, and the army was already cutting off parts of the city. I went to their place thinking it was far enough out to hole up for a day or so while the roads cleared. They were still there, trying to figure out a way to reach you so you could all go to the evacuation site at the hospital. Then we got the news about the shooting at the hospital. So in a way, you not answering your phone so none of us could evacuate is the reason we're all still here."

"Oh."

"I meant that in a good way, Kate. We weren't anywhere near the hospital when the army stormed in and fucked shit up. You kinda saved us all."

Not everyone, She thought. Not Aaron. Not my mother. Kate grimaced as the cold veil of guilt settled over her. She should have been able to do more, to help. She stared out of the dirty truck window into the night absently. Nick had the beams on his truck down low so not to attract too many of the… Whatever they were. Infected? Zombies? It struck her that she still didn't know where they were going to meet Sam and Jo. If they had been getting supplies from the hospital did that mean they had had to clamber over the bodies in the corridors? Would they have seen Aaron amongst them? The thought made her feel sick again. She bit back bile and attempted to replace it with words "W-where are we going?"

"You'll see."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

x

Jo reached up to place a hand on Kate's forehead "You look like shit."

Kate looked up at the friend she had clung onto so tightly when Nick had pulled up at the rendezvous point they had agreed on. It was a ramshackle cabin on a lake about two hours outside of DC. After relieved reunions filled with tearful hugs, she had gleaned that the cabin had belonged to Nick and Sam's father. The old man, who had died of a massive stroke less than six months prior, had seemingly been a keen survivalist; the basement housed every kind of tinned food, two chest freezers full of deer meat, the kind of guns she had only seen in movies along with several cases of ammunition and knives so sharp Kate suspected they would cut her if she walked too close to them. Nick and Sam were down there now, putting together an inventory.

Kate tried to smile but suspected it looked more like a grimace "I'm just so relieved to be here with you guys."

She and Jo were sat in the living room of the cabin attempting to create some semblance of order out of what medical supplies they had, separating it out into stuff they would need to keep in Sam and Nick's trucks if they had to make a quick exit from the cabin. Everything from the hospital and their respective homes had been hurriedly brought in and dumped in the middle of the floor. Kate was still in a state of semi-shock, but knew herself well enough to know that if she kept moving, kept busy, then she would feel stronger and more in control. She delved hungrily into the box of supplies Jo and Sam had liberated from the hospital, trying to ignore any packages with blood stains on them. They had done well; there was a good supply of drugs, dressings, instruments and kit. So engrossed was she that she barely registered Jo nudging her gently "Take it easy. You're barely recovered. When was the last time you took on board any fluid?"

Kate gave a sheepish shrug "I'm not sure... maybe before Nick got to my apartment?"

"That was hours ago, Kate." Without thinking, Kate matched her friend's reproachful look "I'm sorry I was too distracted by the end of the world to keep on top of my fluid intake."

For some reason, this struck them as hysterically funny and they were both still giggling by the time Jo located the box she was looking for among the ones they had taken from the hospital and hooked Kate up to an IV. Kate had proffered her arm without argument - she knew that Jo would not take no for an answer. She leaned back on the threadbare couch and stared around her. The cabin was a typically male homestead; sparsely decorated and careworn, the windows looked a little grimy and there was a thin layer of dust on the more hard-to-reach surfaces. From her vantage point Kate could see into the kitchen where old linoleum tiles clung to the floor for dear life, their corners curling up like so many withered flowers in a grey garden. The refrigerator was an old model too; humming as gently as a jet engine in the corner. Just off the kitchen itself was a hallway leading to two small-ish bedrooms and a bathroom. The whole house smelt like a mixture of cigar smoke and stale whiskey.

"So... Are we gunna talk about Aaron?" Jo's gentle voice was coupled with an even gentler prod to her ribs. Kate offered her friend another weak attempt at a smile "There's nothing to say, Jo. He shouldn't have died. No-one at that hospital should have died. But then again, none of this should be happening. I know I should be more devastated, and maybe I am. But right now I just don't know what part of this to process first."

Jo nodded, and Kate knew she got it. She reached out the hand that wasn't hooked up to the IV and grasped Jo's "I really am so glad that you guys are OK."

It was Jo's turn to offer a watery smile "If you had gotten over your food poisoning a _day_ sooner, we'd all be dead."

"What can I say? I'm a giver." Kate reached up and pulled her friend into a hug "Thank you for not leaving me behind. Thank you for sending Nick."

Jo pull back and wiped her eyes briskly with the back of her hand. ER Nurses were tough "I just couldn't stop thinking about you, in that apartment-"

"-Puking my guts out-"

"-Scared and alone." Jo finished for her "When we found out about the hospital, I knew that we were the only ones who would know you were there. I was going to send Sam and his brother to the hospital to get the supplies while I came for you, but Nick insisted he should be the one to collect you instead."

Kate nodded, remembering "He said he was delayed leaving the city and thought you might have left already by the time he got to your house."

"He didn't tell you the reason why he hadn't left the city yet?" Kate shook her head and Jo sighed sadly, her eyes cast downwards "His wife."

Kate's stomach lurched "What happened?"

"She was diagnosed last week with late stage osteosarcoma. Her MRI lit up like a Christmas tree." Jo's eyes filled again "There was nothing anyone could do. She literally had days."

 _Just like the rest of us apparently,_ Kate thought privately before a terrible realisation struck her "Was she in the hospital too?"

Jo shook her head "She wanted to be at home. Nick stayed with her until the end, he didn't want her to be... By herself. That was why he hadn't left the city by the time he found us." Jo checked they were still alone before leaning in and lowering her voice "When we told him about you being alone in your apartment, I think he was half reminded of Lucille and half hoping that coming to get you would finish him off."

"Jesus." Kate placed a hand on Jo's shoulder, "I'm so sorry..."

"I'm not sure what to say to him right now. He doesn't seem to accept it as an event that's happened in his own life. He's being so... calm. It's like he's expecting her back from the store any minute."

"The world is going crazy right now - nobody knows how to act." Kate offered gently. The sounds of footsteps and hushed voices coming up from the basement alerted them to Nick and Sam's presence and they quickly busied themselves once more with the boxes of kit.

"What the hell is that?" Nick pointed to the half-full bag of bright yellow fluid hanging from the standing lamp next to the couch, the long tube winding its way down to where Kate sat. Sam glanced over and smiled "That's a banana bag."

Nick levelled his gaze at his brother "And for those of us who _didn't_ go to medical school?"

"It's just saline with multivitamins. It's good for severe dehydration." Before he turned back to the box he was sorting through, Sam added "Hangovers too."

Jo smiled fondly over at her husband "Remember the Oncology Christmas party? Me and Kate had to be on shift first thing the next morning? You hooked us up when we got home and the next morning you found us both asleep at the kitchen table with the IVs still attached." Sam grinned back "I still think you should have both had to go to work with hangovers."

"That's easy for you to say, you're a consultant ophthalmologist - what were the chances of you being made to work on a Saturday?" Kate mustered a halfway cheeky grin at her friend, who clutched his chest in mock anguish "Kate, that hurts me deeply. But I know you're just jealous because I get to give people the gift of sight and you have to sew their rectums back together for a living." Sam held up his hands as if they were a imaginary set of scales "Eyes. Assholes. Eyes. Assholes. Which do you need more?"

"Let's sew yours up and find out."

X x X

Kate couldn't sleep. Jo and Sam had taken the master bedroom and Nick had insisted she take the other, telling her he would be fine on the couch. It had been nearing four AM by the time they had finally crashed and Kate figured it would be easier to convince him to swap with her after they'd rested. She guessed this had been the brothers' room growing up; twin beds sat on opposite walls, posters of sports teams adorning the walls. There was something she couldn't put her finger on, but something told her this home hadn't been a happy one. Kate had never heard Sam talk about his childhood so there was no evidence for this assertion, only a gut feeling. A lack of warmth, the absence of family photographs. The uneasy way that both Nick and Sam moved around the cabin, as if they were uncomfortable there.

Spying her duffel bag in the corner where she had dumped it earlier, Kate lay very still and strained her ears for the telltale sounds of anyone else being up - the soft pad of bare feet on their way to the bathroom, the hushed whispers of bedtime conversation. She heard nothing. As silently as she could, she stood and tip-toed over to her bag, slowly unzipping it to reach inside for the photograph she had taken from her bedside cabinet and slipped in to it when Nick had been in the kitchen. Clutching it to her chest she crept back to the twin bed.

A shock of dark hair. Her eyes. His nose. Kate stared at the photograph until her vision blurred, the sharp lines beginning to swim before her. It didn't matter - she would know the child in her sleep. Kate lifted a finger and traced it across the face staring back at her. She eventually dozed off, still clutching the photograph while outside the sun began to rise on a world that would never be the same.

X X X

She awoke around five hours later, the combined effects of the IV and finally getting some rest giving her an unexpectedly clear head. Her stomach jolted unpleasantly as she realised this was not her apartment and this was not her bed. Memories of the night before flooded back in technicolor as she adjusted to her surroundings. Kate rose from the bed and tucked the photograph back into her duffel bag before venturing out of the room. The door to the master bedroom was still closed so Kate crept past and made her way through the kitchen to the living room. There was a blanket and a pillow folded up neatly on the couch, but Nick was nowhere in sight. The grubby windows were open and cool forest air filtered around her shoulders.

A clear and tuneful whistle pierced the air. It sounded like it was coming from outside. Kate crossed to the window and looking out was met with the sight of Nick, reclined casually on the porch staring out at the lake, long legs propped up on a chair. His baseball bat rested against the side of his leg. He might as well have been on holiday. Kate remembered what Jo had told her about his wife and her perception of his relaxed demeanour shifted from worrying about his casual attitude toward the end of the world to worrying about his entire mental state.

Nick must have sensed her presence because it wasn't long before he turned to smile cordially at her, tipping an imaginary cap in greeting and beckoning her to join him. Stepping out onto the porch Kate flexed her toes at the slightly damp feeling of the wood under her bare feet.

"Sleep OK?"

Kate nodded, stooping to perch on the edge of one of the remaining chairs "Pretty well, considering. You?"

Nick nodded, his gaze remaining on the scenery in front of him "Got what I needed."

"It can't have been comfortable on that couch. You should have let me -"

Nick raised a hand to cut her off "I can promise you I've had it worse. Besides, I always hated that room growin' up. Whole house sucked, actually."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, Doc. Nothin' like a crappy childhood to make you tough."

Kate didn't know how to answer that. She tried a different tack "Jo told me... About your wife. I'm so sorry."

Nick grimaced "Now that... That you can be sorry for."

"I can't imagine what you must be going through."

Nick didn't respond right away, and Kate could see the muscles of his jaw working. She waited. Eventually he spoke "I didn't hear the news reports right away. I was busy takin' care of her. When Lucille shut her eyes for the last time, this shit show," Nick gestured all around them "Was already well under way." Nick laughed sadly "Once I'd turned on the news and saw what was happening, I figured it made sense: my world had ended, why not everybody else's?"

Kate returned his smile, appreciating the irony he had found in his situation. They lapsed into a silence that was, while not companionable, not totally awkward. The woods around them were filled with an absence of noise Kate had forgotten how to be familiar with. It was a solid quiet, almost tangible.

"There's no birdsong." She commented after a while "It's almost... Deathly quiet." The words were out of her mouth before she had time to register their lack of tact. Kate felt her face burning. If Nick noticed, he didn't call her on it.

"There was a lotta shooting goin' on around here when we were growin' up. I figured the little critters just stopped buildin' their nests within the kill zone. Probably accounts for most of the quiet. Like how there's no birdsong at Auschwitz."

"That's a pretty extreme example."

"I'm a pretty extreme guy."

Kate shifted uncomfortably, bemused at how they had ended up yet again on the topic of Nick's childhood "So, what's the plan going forward?"

Nick shrugged, his gaze once more out on the lake "I think we can hole up here for a week or so at least. We're pretty far out from civilisation so we're pretty unlikely to get more than a couple of undead visitors at a time. Although with two such lovely ladies in the house, we may end up with a queue." His smile was genuine and charming, and although Kate knew it was entirely too early for a grieving widower to be flirting with anyone, she suspected he was simply trying to make light of the situation. She liked him for that; the dark humour spoke her language. She smiled, probably for the first time since she had met him, and was surprised to see Nick's eyes linger on her face a little longer than she expected them to. The look in them was one completely without guile, and she found herself taken aback by the sheer innocence of it in a man who had obviously seen his fair share.

"And after a week?" She pressed. Nick cleared his throat awkwardly, glancing back toward the lake "It would make sense to find somewhere more secure. We have supplies here, but not only are we totally vulnerable to any kind of attack, we also aren't visible to rescue choppers or whatever else might be out lookin' for survivors."

"You think we could be attacked?" Kate felt a knot of anxiety twist in her stomach "By who?"

"Anyone who wants what we have." Nick's voice was matter-of-fact "Folks returning to their base instincts, serving only their most primal urges - food and shelter. When it's all about survival, you'd be amazed how much people don't care about their fellow man."

"You sound like you've had first-hand experience."

"You could say that." Nick smiled at her again, briefly this time "But hey, at least it means I can look out for lady doctors who haven't. Which I promise to do, by the way."

Kate cocked an eyebrow, her inner feminist sparking into life "What makes you think I need looking out for?"

"Same thing that makes every good guy an easy target - the fact that you _want_ to help. You're all so busy fixin' shit you don't see the bullseye painted on your backs. That's where guys like me come in."

"Are you saying you're _not_ a good guy?"

"I'm saying that I'm just a _guy_. A guy who understands how to survive. Good, bad, they're all relative terms in my book."

Kate studied him for a moment. His casual pose, his muscular arms flexing as he crossed them over his chest, his rugged features a study in what most men would term _cool_ and most women would fawn over "What do you do - I mean," she caught herself "What _did_ you do before all of this? For a job, I mean."

Nick spared her a sideways glance "I was a gym teacher."

"Does being a teacher not count as being a good guy then?"

"Not the way I did it. Look," Nick swung his legs around "I'm not having some existential crisis where I need you to tell me I'm one of the good guys. I'm trying to make you see that right now, it doesn't matter whether I'm pure of heart. Or whether you are, for that matter. What matters is that we live instead of die. What _matters_ is that if you trust me, I can get you and Jo and my brother through this. Do you trust me, Kate?"

Kate nodded mutely. Later, she would come to regard this exchange as a tipping point in her personal history. A moment when the course of her life was changed irretrievably. Because as much as she could not bring herself to admit it, she had been completely drawn in. Her attachment to Nick was something instinctive, as strong as it was nameless. In the months and years that followed, Kate would scour her memories for warning signs. But the truth was, there were none. In that moment, Nick was simply a man simultaneously suffering unspeakable grief and sadness as well as a man who could see that he may very well be others' only hope. The darkness and the horror would come much, much later.

When it was far too late.


End file.
